Why Do I Feel Like This?

Why your anxiety and depression are not your fault:
A simple, hopeful look at Polyvagal Theory from a Christian perspective

By Kerri Chamberlain, LLMSW

There was a time in my life when I truly didn’t understand what was happening in my brain and body. And I also didn’t understand how intricately connected they are to each other. I believed my mental health only resided in my brain—rather than my entire nervous system. I thought if I could just somehow stop all my negative thoughts and/or learn to trust God more, my body’s experience of anxiety and depression would simply go away.

I was following Jesus. I believed the gospel was true. I prayed. I journaled. I went to therapy. I tried to “cast my anxieties on Him.” And yet… there were still days I woke up with a racing heart and a mind full of fear. Or times I felt nothing at all—completely numb and shut down, like I was going through the motions but not really living. Some days I experienced a combination of both—bouncing between anxiety and collapse.

Have you ever felt that way?

For so long, I thought something was wrong with me. I wondered if I just lacked faith or discipline. But what I came to learn—both personally and professionally—is that my body wasn’t broken… it was doing exactly what God designed it to do. It was protecting me.

And that’s where Polyvagal Theory comes in.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal Theory is a science-based way of understanding how our nervous system responds to stress, danger, and connection. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, it’s become foundational in trauma-informed therapy. I am so grateful to have found it.

Here’s the simple version:

Our nervous system operates like a ladder. When you’re safe, you’re at the top. When you’re stressed or overwhelmed, you move down the ladder—into survival mode.

🟢 Top of the Ladder: Safety and Connection

Calm. Grounded. Open to others and to God.

This is when you feel safe in your body and present in your relationships. You’re able to think clearly, connect with others, pray, and feel peace.

🟡 Middle of the Ladder: Fight or Flight

Anxious. Restless. On high alert.

Your body senses danger—even if you’re not sure why. This is where anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, or panic live. It’s your body saying: “Do something to protect yourself!”

🔴 Bottom of the Ladder: Freeze or Shutdown

Numb. Disconnected. Hopeless.

If the stress becomes too much, your system may shut down altogether. You might feel emotionally numb, fatigued, unmotivated, or like you’ve just “checked out.”

So… What Does This Mean for You?

It means that if you’ve ever felt stuck in anxiety, shutdown, emotional overwhelm, or all of the above—it doesn’t mean you’re broken or lacking faith. It means your nervous system is trying to protect you. The good news? You can learn to gently guide your nervous system back toward safety—toward joy, connection, and peace.

Why I Use This Approach in My Work:

As a Christian therapist, I believe healing involves the whole person—mind, body, and spirit.

Now is the time to give yourself some kindness and compassion. Your experience of anxiety or depression is not your fault. God created us for connection—not just with Him, but also with others and with ourselves. But when trauma, chronic stress, relational conflict, isolation, or even hormonal imbalances disrupt that connection, it's our nervous system that bears the weight. You are not to blame. These responses are your body’s automatic way of trying to protect you—they are about survival, not morality.

In my practice, I use a Polyvagal Theory-informed approach to help clients:

• Understand their body’s responses without shame

• Learn practical tools for nervous system regulation

• Rebuild emotional and relational safety

• Move toward the peace and presence God designed us for

If you're reading this and thinking, “That sounds like me,”
I want you to know:

• You do not have to feel shame over your mind and body’s automatic responses

• You’re not too sensitive

• You're not beyond healing

You’re human. And you were made for connection.

If you're looking for a safe place to begin this journey, I would be honored to walk with you.